i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize