I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I fill condoms, not promises.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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