No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
