Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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