he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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