Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
