summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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