You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
