After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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