I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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