So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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