guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
