So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize