no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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