Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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