Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
