and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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