I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
