sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
