it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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