I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
