We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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