Champagne is a vitamin, right?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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