the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
