if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
