Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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