I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
be right there i have to get my cape
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
