would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
