Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
