Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
