Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
