An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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