I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
