I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
