Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Pants are for mortals
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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