then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
