Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
