I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
