My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
