you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
