Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
