You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
