I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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