How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
