I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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