my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
