addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize