I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
