they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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