do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
