Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I got inside last night via doggy door
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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