I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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