so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
