what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
