and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
