If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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