I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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