i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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