8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
