So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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