Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
