Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
